I hear it over and over again – how scary those first few minutes can be, when you step up to speak or perform and all the attention is turned toward you. When the quietness descends upon the room, you feel the anxious anticipation of...
Read moreLoosening the Grip of Our Comparative/Competitive Mind
Many of my coaching clients get caught up in comparisons. It’s also always been a huge topic in all my support groups and workshops over the years. The following was written by Janet Esposito in a previous blog in October 2015: I recently read an...
Read moreWhat % of a whole person are you?
We’ve all been there, sweating and anxious days to weeks before a presentation thinking our whole job depends on those crucial minutes while speaking. What if you looked at it a different way? That those minutes only represent a small fraction of...
Read moreIn full disclosure, I should be embarrassed. Instead, I’m proud.
Last month, I had the honor of being invited to do a video meeting/interview with a well-known psychologist, author and founder of Essential Speaker, Dr. Doreen Downing. Her project was to interview 20 of the top anxiety experts for her Anxiety...
Read moreWhat Enrages Me About Beta-Blockers and Also Why I’m in Strong Favor of Them
I’m fired up about them and this is my PSA sharing my, Janet’s and others’ experiences! There are people completely for or against beta-blockers, some who have never wanted to try them and those who fear they cannot stop taking them right before...
Read moreWhat Perfectionism Does to Your Public Speaking Anxiety
Fear of public speaking can also be a fear of death —an emotional death. We feel naked and exposed in front of an audience. We think people are going to scrutinize everything we say and do. We pressure ourselves to be perfect, or else our...
Read moreA Mind-Blowing Way to Reframe Embarrassment, Shame and Humiliation
The “consolidation window” occurs for up to 6 hours after a distressing or potentially traumatic experience occurs when memories are being stored and strengthened in the brain. Many of us have likely stored memories of embarrassing...
Read moreWhy We Hide and Compare Ourselves to Others
There is a societal pressure that we feel the need to prove ourselves to others, which often leaves us feeling somehow “not good enough” and like we’re not meeting their expectations. We often have a fear of not looking “normal” due...
Read moreYou can join Toastmasters and NOT give a speech? What? Yes, you can start small and work your way up.
Usually the word “Toastmasters” sparks fear and resistance in my groups and workshops: “Why would I want to go there? They are professional speakers, it’s much too intimidating, I’m not ready to give a speech!”...
Read moreI’m not here to shame you for the goals you didn’t accomplish last year.
Give yourself credit for all the things you haven’t avoided and for what you have volunteered to do outside of your comfort zone. Big and small! Or sought help (self-help, therapy, anything) to overcome this fear. This very first step is the most...
Read moreI’m the Quietest One Here, They Must Think I’m ___!
She beat herself up for years about being too shy/quiet/anxious to go out to a bar with her friends. After asking some questions, it was discovered that she doesn’t even drink, can’t stand loud music, or anything to do with the bar environment...
Read moreHow Do You ‘What-If’ Yourself?
What if people see how anxious I am? What if I have another episode of panic as I’ve had in the past? What if I freeze and forget what I am going to say? What if I lose my place in my notes or run out of breath? We need to be more aware of...
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